Clinical psychologist Marius Zamfir, a specialist in the human microbiome and president of the Association for Child Mental Health, emphasized on 'Present Parents,' a show moderated by ParintisiPitici. rose editor-in-chief Loredana Iriciuc, that in cases of virtual autism, there are other factors to consider.
Marius Zamfir emphasized that in many cases of virtual autism, there is also a present anxiety-inducing factor. According to him, 87% of cases have such a factor. This anxiety-inducing background can be identified through the child's behavior in the early stages of development.
"In many cases of virtual autism, we also talk about an anxiety-inducing background. 87% had an anxiety-inducing background.
We identify it by the fact that the child at 1 year could walk and had the motor capacity to walk, but he only started walking alone at around 1 year and 4 months, 1 year and 6 months, so he didn't have the confidence to walk," emphasized the president of the Association for Child Mental Health.
Zamfir points out that the precise percentage of each factor in the development of virtual autism cannot be established. He emphasizes that the name of this type of autism suggests that there are multiple influences, including screen exposure, overprotection, and anxiety-inducing factors.
"I can't know in this form, as I called it virtual autism, what percentage is caused by screens, what percentage is due to overprotectiveness, what percentage is due to the anxiety factor, or what percentage is the combination of all these factors", stated clinical psychologist Marius Zamfir on 'Present Parents', a show by ParintisiPitici.ro.
PHOTO: freepik.com @mnelen
Psychologist Marius Zamfir brought attention to the concept of overprotection, stating that it can be considered an abuse on the child. His argument is based on the idea that overprotection hinders the natural development of the child. According to the expert, the development of a child requires exposure to certain levels of stress, in a controlled manner. This also involves moments when the child needs to face frustrations or experience boundaries.
"Last year, at a conference in Belgium, overprotection was considered an abuse of the child. Why? Because the child is not allowed to develop.
The child develops through the exact opposite of overprotection!
A child's brain develops through limited, controlled amounts of stress. What does that mean? It means that I need to let him cry a bit, especially when he's crying for no reason. He wants an ice cream, I'll buy him one, but if he wants seven, I won't. He can get as angry as he wants, he can stomp his feet, he can do all sorts of things, but he won't get it. Or: he played with this toy, now he wants the one on the shelf? Well, until he puts this one away, he won't get the other one!
Ultimately, we need to think about forming these children to live in the society we live in. And if we analyze a typical day, we'll see that at least 90% of our daily activities, while doing them, we don't feel like doing them at all.
Through this overprotection, I only soften them, I kill off a large part of these genetic and neurological mechanisms that know how to produce and how much to produce stress hormones and pleasure hormones, and when to produce these things.
You see, these are the extremes. When I don't have time for you, you stay in front of a screen, when I take care of you, 'let mommy feed you, let mommy clean up after you.' And in this way, the child doesn't have time to develop, doesn't have time to interact with the sensory environment, doesn't have motor time because someone else does it for him", argues Marius Zamfir.
The psychologist emphasized the importance of practical experiences in children's development and discussed the need for a bolder approach from parents in stimulating their growth. The expert used an analogy with learning to swim to illustrate this point.
"I tell parents: do you want your child to swim? 'Yes!' And what do you do? You take them to swim, but there you don't put them in the water because it's wet, it's cold, and you want to protect the child. And after a year you expect them to know how to swim? Well, you didn't put them in the water! If you don't put them in the water, how will they learn to swim?"
Marius Zamfir also shared a recent experience where he evaluated a child who had no experience in a simple activity like placing circles on a stick. He emphasized that at the age of three, the lack of these basic experiences can have negative consequences on the child's development.
"I just came from an evaluation. Did the child put some circles on the stick? 'Well, I don't know, because they've never done it.' They're 3 years old! At 3 years old, they've never done a puzzle? 'They haven't!' Poor child would take the piece out and then try to pull from the side, like, with the rest of their body. They had never seen a puzzle in their life! How will this child develop?
I need raw material, I need stimulation, workers, but I also need interaction with objects themselves, with things, with life itself", Marius Zamfir further explained.
Loredana Iriciuc, the editor-in-chief of ParintisiPitici.ro, shared with psychologist Marius Zamfir an observation about how society seems to push us to excessively protect children. The expert agreed with this perspective and shared his own experience. He recounted how, at one point, he felt surrounded only by alarming information about bacteria and other dangers, and the pressure to buy more expensive products for children was constant.
"Yes, unfortunately! We also have three children at home, and I remember reading some specific magazines with my wife. After reading one of those magazines, we felt like we were sitting on a mountain of bacteria that were killing our children, that we had to buy a stroller of some sort. Let me tell you, the child doesn't care whether they're in a stroller that costs 5,000 $ or one that costs 300 $, they're still in a stroller.
What they need is a connection!
PHOTO: freepik.com @vgstockstudio
Another factor that my wife identified, which helps me a lot in evaluations, having this more human side compared to us, men, who are a bit colder, is that many cases of mothers with children with problems had postnatal depression or chronic fatigue. In a state of depression or burnout, you can't take care of yourself most of the time. Physically, you take care of the child, but you can't connect with them correctly anymore. You need to be in a good state, to smile at the child, to laugh with them, to interact with them.
This state often has a significant influence on the child's subsequent development", Marius Zamfir added.
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